Preparing My Heart

I am captivated by God’s continuous love and grace. God’s calling for me has never seemed more clear. These past few weeks, months have been life-changing. On a Wednesday night I offered to play and lead a small worship service in the prayer chapel and I had no idea that this would be the beginning of a whole new me. I was hesitant about volunteering because I knew I would have to pray and this was one of my biggest fears, but I did it anyways. Then Wednesday night came and I called my parents to ask them to pray that this time would not be about me and that the Holy Spirit would fill the room, and speak through me as I prayed. My mother prayed over the phone. I went to the prayer chapel before it started and I prayed again that God would take over and that it wouldn’t be about my performance.
As I began to play the piano and sing songs I could feel the holy spirit, I prayed and I couldn’t believe what was coming out of my mouth, it was as if I was a whole new person. I threw my hands up and I knew that God had something more for me. He was telling me it was time to give him all of myself. It was time for me to take a stand, he was knocking on my door, and I answered. All my life I have wanted to be this “cool Christian” accepting those people that the “judgmental Christians” weren’t. I wanted to show them that Christianity was cool and that you didn’t have to be a boring, Jesus freak. I had such a skewed view of what a Christian is. I only wanted to show them I loved them, but by going to parties and not drinking I was nothing but a stumbling block. I realized that taking this next step with Jesus would make me the happiest I have ever been and I have never felt cooler than I do now. I want God involved in every Aspect of my life, everything that comes out of my mouth. I need people to know whom I serve. I am alive.