Training Camp

One more day here in the US of A and i couldn't be more excited. We leave at around 5 a.m. on Monday morning. Training today was very heavy. We had what they called a "World Feast." We went into it not really knowing what we were going to do. There was a big table with candles and place mats, another table with four spots on it and it looked even nicer than the other. There were two spots on the ground with tape outlining a square and a triangle. We each got called to different groups. I was a #4 so i had to sit on the ground with a bunch of other people, we were crammed together inside these lines and we got two rolls and a can of water. Group #3 got rice and beans. Group #2 had a feast, and Group #1 had a five course meal. We sat and watched as they received there food, and we had barely anything to eat. A little bit later one of the people from the feast said, "we are allowed to take one of you, to eat with us, and i will let you guys choose." I have been a little sick with a cough so my team nominated me and I couldn't do it, i couldn't sit there and eat while the rest of my group was so hungry. So we chose someone else and she went. She sat down and the staff, or worker, pulled the chair away from the table as if she were an outsider. they asked her what she wanted on her plate, with tears in their eyes. She put the tray on her lap and she began to sob. This broke me. I can't believe we as Americans sit and eat our meals without thinking of the poverty that is all around our world. It breaks my heart to know that there are millions. Millions of people starving around the world. Although, it was a simulation it touched all of our hearts and really brought out so many emotions. Anger, sadness, guilt. We experienced these together. It was a crazy experience.

Tomorrow the India team, Rachel, Monica, Courtney, Kirsta, and myself will be attending a Hindu church to understand more of the Indian's culture. I cannot wait. Then Monday at 5 A.M. we will be on our way to INDIA!!! Thank you all for your prayers. I will try to update my blog once a week. Love you ALL!

Pleasing to You

God continues to shine through people all around me. Coming to SNU i knew that I would meet some life-long friends but i had no idea how many. I am so happy to know that i have so many praying for me and this summer. I am at home in Boise, ID and I love spending time with my family and friends. I am definitely ready to begin this life-changing trip. I was talking recently to a friend who came back from Romania and he said, "As Americans we go into mission trips thinking that we will "save" or "help" the people, but they end up impacting out lives more than they will ever know." I can't wait for this.

This song is my favorite worship song right now it's called Maker of Heaven by Desperation Band. This is my prayer.

Keep my heart amazed
Let me see Your wonders every day
Teach me in Your ways
So that I may fear
You are walking on water
You are calling me after
You are standing beside me now

You are the Maker of Heaven
You turn my world around
You're making all things new again
Through it all I know
You are God alone

Set my heart on fire
Let me burn
With passion for Your name
Take over my life
I surrender now

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
You are God alone

Overcome

You continue to amaze me God. I have been so afraid and fearful of this trip that i lost my focus and passion. Tonight God revealed himself to me. He is God of all and he will help me overcome all of this worry, and fear because he is the maker of Heaven. I underestimate God's listening skills which sounds terrible, but i tend to doubt. God continues to come through and tell me that he put this passion in my heart, and he will take away ALL of these hesitations. I cannot believe that he loves me, he unconditionally loves me no matter what mistakes i make, no matter what fears and worries i have, HE STILL LOVES ME.

The country seems so nice now
but the city's all i see
I'm blocked from all the good things
that i need to believe

My heart is longing to be yours
I lay myself at your feet
I give you all the Glory
You are my Prince of Peace

I can't predict the weather
I don't know what the future brings
but i do know a savior
He's in control of everything

Use Me

Last year, first semester youth in Mission came to my school and I never really thought about traveling to a third-world country until I heard some of the students testimonies. I grabbed a piece of paper that said the many countries we could go to if we got involved in Youth in Mission. I began to pray about where I would go if God called me to a trip, like this.

One night I got on Myspace and just browsed around. I went to one of my longtime family friends page and I looked at this album titled, "India." I looked through the pictures and tears started coming down my face. The kids looked so beautiful and grateful. It was cool to see how much they appreciated what little they had. Months after this i went to the movie Taken and I was horrified that sex slavery was still occurring all over the world. the movie really messed with my head so I couldn't go to sleep. I got on Google and I started typing in the search window. I typed, "Sex trafficking in India." It went on to say that India was one of the top countries with women and children involved in sex trafficking.

I knew at this point this is where God was calling me. This summer I met an amazing Indian family who allowed me to come into their home and chat about my upcoming travels and I listened to them tell me about the many details of India. They also made me amazing Indian food. India is somewhere I've been incredibly passionate about and I cannot wait to be God's instrument there. Although i am excited and blessed beyond belief to get to go there, I am frightened. I just know that fear is not of the Lord and that God will protect, provide, and take care of me while I am there. Lord use me.

You Can Have My Heart

I can feel you tappin' on my heart strings
I'm opening the door listening for your calling
I'm captivated by the way you love me
I'm ready and alive I've never been so happy
I wont look back on who i was back then
Ill testify, declare your promises

O lord have your way
i want to take the next step
wipe clean this sinner in me
I AM ALIVE
Holy Spirit take my words
take all my selfish pride
Here I am I give my life
to Glorify You

I'm gonna change my life from the inside out
I'm following you, I want to make you proud
you know my future, and Ill trust that
You gave up your life so I will give mine back.

Preparing My Heart

I am captivated by God’s continuous love and grace. God’s calling for me has never seemed more clear. These past few weeks, months have been life-changing. On a Wednesday night I offered to play and lead a small worship service in the prayer chapel and I had no idea that this would be the beginning of a whole new me. I was hesitant about volunteering because I knew I would have to pray and this was one of my biggest fears, but I did it anyways. Then Wednesday night came and I called my parents to ask them to pray that this time would not be about me and that the Holy Spirit would fill the room, and speak through me as I prayed. My mother prayed over the phone. I went to the prayer chapel before it started and I prayed again that God would take over and that it wouldn’t be about my performance.
As I began to play the piano and sing songs I could feel the holy spirit, I prayed and I couldn’t believe what was coming out of my mouth, it was as if I was a whole new person. I threw my hands up and I knew that God had something more for me. He was telling me it was time to give him all of myself. It was time for me to take a stand, he was knocking on my door, and I answered. All my life I have wanted to be this “cool Christian” accepting those people that the “judgmental Christians” weren’t. I wanted to show them that Christianity was cool and that you didn’t have to be a boring, Jesus freak. I had such a skewed view of what a Christian is. I only wanted to show them I loved them, but by going to parties and not drinking I was nothing but a stumbling block. I realized that taking this next step with Jesus would make me the happiest I have ever been and I have never felt cooler than I do now. I want God involved in every Aspect of my life, everything that comes out of my mouth. I need people to know whom I serve. I am alive.